Have you been to TED? It is a place to find good presentations of ideas. I go there at least once a week to see what is new or just look for something I have not seen before.
Recently this one talk has captured my attention: The power of vulnerability, by Brene Brown. The talk is about human connection, how it happens, how it works and when it does not work. “When you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection.” As people and as people with vitiligo, we know a thing or two about disconnection. “Is there something about me, that if people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection.” It is universal for humans. It is particular to people with vitiligo. We experience a fear of rejection in a way that is different for people without vitiligo. Still, we are all human and we can learn from each other, whether people have vitiligo or not, we can still learn from each other. I would be curious to hear what you all have to say about this talk, embedded below here:
Have you considered vulnerability to be a personal strength? Is it possible that vulnerability allows for significant personal connection? This is what is discussed.
Considering these ideas has brought about there thoughts: We are vulnerable to the people around us and we have vitiligo. We are not vulnerable because we have vitiligo. Vitiligo does not make us vulnerable. We are vulnerable to people because we are people.
We walk outside with spotted skin, two tone skin and hope that we will not be judged less beautiful than others. We hope that people will not notice. We hope that we will be accepted for who we are. We hope that we will be loved in such a way that our vitiligo will not matter. These are human concerns. All humans have these same concerns. The concerns of a person with vitiligo are colored by the disease vitiligo, yes, but they are universal human concerns.
We feel shame about a broad range of things. I wonder if having vitiligo will prevent someone from loving me in the same way someone wonders if they are too quirky enough to be loved, or too this or too that.
There is an endless supply of shame that we don’t confront in our lives. For me, shame will be something that I will confront as best as possible. When I am in the right company, I will talk about it. I will not allow shame to affect my life as it has in the past.
How does shame function in your life? What are you doing to rid yourself of shame?